Sucks On A Plane

[matthew]

The movie is a total waste of time and money.

It's the BORING kind of bad.

It's the kind of movie you end up renting when everything you WANTED to rent is out but you desperately want to watch something, anything...you watch it and say simply, "That sucked" and getting around to returning it the next day  is more of a memorable frustration/responsiblity than actually sitting through the film. Six years later someone mentions the title in a conversation and you say, "I think I might have seen that, it wasn't very good was it?"...if that doesn't happen, you forget that film ever existed.

Two seconds of the cultural phenomena that was the hype was more enjoyable than any given scene in the film. The most famous line is but a horridly clunky insert that does not even fit the scene it is inserted in.

In short: seeing the film ruins the fun of the hype.

Really, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME OR MONEY. I cannot stress this enough. Be the first on your block to NOT go and see Snakes on a Plane because you heard it was shit.

Unfortunately, most people will hold on to the hype for dear life and never admit that it was anything but bland direct-to-video crappola.

No, it's not funny in an ironic way either...it's not funny in any way...it's just shitty and dull.

Complete rip off.

Watch the Sam Jackson interview on the Daily Show again instead...a million times more fun (and it has The Line) a hundred minutes shorter and ten dollars cheaper.

I obsessively watch the entire end credits of all films I see in theatres (even the bad ones)...but not Snakes On A Plane...for I was chased out of the theatre by a faggoty emo mall rock music video.

I was not the only one either...between 150 and 200 people sat in mostly dumbfounded silence at my showing (except the girl behind me who screamed with every jump of a snake)...the dialogue is so poor that no one seemed to know if it was just bad or actually intended to be funny (in a funny-funny way or a so-bad-its-funny way)...it has a lot in common with the average SNL sketch these days...it tries to coast in the cowardly haze between satire and parody and direct humour.

Awful, awful, awful.

[regular tom]

i can't wait to go see it!!!!!!

[Moetown]

7 Grand Masters - kung fu action flick - arrived in the mail today. I'm gonna go smoke out and watch Chinese guys beat the shit out of each other. Life is good.  

[Doctor Rock]

So Snakes on a plane sucks balls...

Well duh!  

[Tripp]

I'm about tired of these mutha#%$&*$in Bad Snakes on a Plane reviews!

[Tripp]

I'm kidding. I was never gonna go see it. I mean, what's the premise?

[Tripp]

I'm in North Carolina. The plane ride was alright. No snakes. But there was this kid sitting next to me  (kid.. he was like ..20) and he was showing pictures on his digital camera of his trip to disneyworld. And he talked endlessly about his girlfriend and how she hates Star Wars but he's a Star Wars freak. And I'm like, 'you don't have a girlfriend, do you?'. Then he goes on about he has a book coming out, it's a fantasy thriller about this sword that can collect dead people's souls and it's great in battle and after the battle the dude releases all the dead souls, and I was like 'kinda like in Return of the King, huh.' I was actually sitting there wishing for the plane to crash.

the new car is pretty sweet though. haven't driven it yet.
BUT I get to drive it for 11 straight hours tomorrow !! YAY!!

[regular tom]

tripp's going to be like van damme in his grand am:

kicking ass and looking good

[regular tom]

i just recalled the way i began my day--by hearing oneida interviewed on npr by scott simon.  they also performed.  if you want to hear, go here: Oneida: Loudness and Longevity

[brainfiber]

hey guess what's on tonight?

Cabin Fever!!!

sci fi channel

[Doctor Rock]

i just recalled the way i began my day--by hearing oneida interviewed on npr by scott simon.  they also performed.  if you want to hear, go here: Oneida: Loudness and Longevity

Cawesome!  Thanks!  

[Just Some Girl]

i just recalled the way i began my day--by hearing oneida interviewed on npr by scott simon.  they also performed.  if you want to hear, go here: Oneida: Loudness and Longevity

That's how I began my day, too. Nice. It's kinda been all downhill since then. But I did have a nap before going to my friend's art show. So that's something.

(shrug)

[matthew]

I'm about tired of these mutha#%$&*$in Bad Snakes on a Plane reviews!

Really, go to Internet Movie Database for 100% Pure A+ Completely Positive Reviews

(I did not see a single one on there that criticized it)

 

[matthew]

(okay, I saw a couple near the beginning -last pages- of that list)

[regular tom]

i was in the grocery store today and heading for the checkout when i saw an altoids display by the tabloids that had a photo of a nattily attired black man holding a box of the curiously strong mints and looking mean.  the tagline?  "It's Hard Out Here for a Mint"

i am crappin' you negative.

it was both hilarious and awful.  it was awfully hilarious.  i looked around to see if anyone else was noticing it.  nope.  i don't know how long it's been there, but i hope the Three 6 Mafia people are getting paid.