beef don't fail me now

[Just Some Girl]

6:53pm Eastern is still mid-afternoon, right?

[Just Some Girl]

Also: George Bush is a liar!

(high five)

Alright, so I've got nothing. What else is new? Um, wanna talk about grammar some more, Mr. Brown?

[Just Some Girl]

Alright, here's a story (hopefully I didn't post it before)... It's about as amusing to me, and self-incriminating, as the one about dropping my underwear on the front porch on my way home from a dude's house, only to have my roommate find it...

Ok. It involves the guy who's coming to town for the Art Brut gig this weekend.

So... Before I have my own place in Toronto, I'm house-sitting at a friend's for a few months. (It's important to note at this point that I am very VERY lucky that I needed to use the facilities the day the homeowner gave me the keys, else I would NOT have known his bathroom door locked from the outside and likely, I'd have inadvertently locked myself in the can whilst I was staying there.)

Old pal was passing through Toronto and was going to crash where I was staying. I met up with him for drinks and, of course, we proceeded to get blotto. Real gone.

We got back to the house and we end up doin' it (sorry, no story to tell there since I can't remember one minute of this drunken fumbling), even though I have no real/sober interest in this guy. I pass out, nekkid. Dude, also sans any clothing, goes to the bathroom, and -- despite me telling him NOT to shut the door -- shuts the door, thereby locking himself in. He tries banging on the door a couple times, and yelling my name, but, me bein' passed out and all, can't hear him.

So he bangs louder, yells louder.

The upstairs neighbour (who just happens to be the landlord's daughter), knows I'm staying there and is super-worried that I'm being attacked or something.

Naturally, she calls the cops.

They arrive, use her key to get in, and let dude out of the bathroom.  He manages to find a face cloth or hand-towel or something insignificant to wrap around the goods, while they question him. He's a cocky motherfucker, so, of course, it doesn't go all that smoothly.

Not that I am aware of any of this.

I'm still passed out, see, so I didn't hear the cops knocking or coming in or walking around. They want to check to make sure I'm alive, but dude won't let them try to wake me, saying, "She has to get up early for school tomorrow. She needs to sleep." (I suppose they poked at me with a stick or something to make sure I was, in fact, breathing.) All's good, they "warn" my friend to keep it down, blah blah blah.

Next morning, I wake up, start getting ready for a class. Buddy says something to the effect of "That was funny. I can't believe you didn't even wake up when the cops were here." I don't believe a word of it. Until I check the phone messages and realize there was one from the landlord's daughter, from about 4am, wondering if I was alright.

Oops.

That story toooooootally made the rounds back in Ottawa... I got a lot of comedy mileage out it, too, though it's far better when dude tells it. (Like a true story teller, he keeps embellishing how "cool" he was with the cops.)

[Just Some Girl]

Alright, when I bring out that ol' chestnut, I know I've really got nuthin'...

Sigh.

Later.

[Doctor Rock]

Too early to ask about weekend plans?

I'm going to a friend's birthday thing tomorrow night where The Constantines will be playing as their Neil Young alter-ego band, Horsey Craze.

Hey, I saw them open for Oneida.  It was funny for about 10 minutes, and then their Cortez the Killer cover went on for too long...

[matthew]

You can tell how liberal someone is by how much their "d" sounds like a "th" when they say "Pedro."

My father likes to pronounce it "pee-dro"

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

So do the Minutemen.

[matthew]

Damn, I expect consistency from you peoples.

I just watched "A History of Violence" (only because Kurt and ...I think, JSG? gave it the semi-thumbs-up...I have yet to see a Cronenberg film I haven't hated) and I couldn't believe how atrocious it was.

BLARGH.

I can't believe it thought it was being funny. It wasn't funny...nor was it well made...nor was it worth however long it was.

Biggest pile of crap I sat through since "Brown Bunny".

[matthew]

Everything I've seen of his has been crap...A History of Violence, Rabid, Dead Ringers, Crash, Naked Lunch (loved the book...the film is a mockery with no sense of Burroughs' humour), eXistenZ (MST3K-worthy crap)...all of it crap.

The Fly remake? Starts off a generic 80s horror film and slowly but surely becomes retarded to the point of self-satire.

Honestly  though...I would like to see Scanners and the Dead Zone again soon. I saw both so long ago I can hardly recall either (I at least remember bits of DZ).

Oh, and I never saw Videodrome...or M. Butterfly.

[matthew]

How did that assclown Cronenberg make a name for himself anyway? Was it REALLY just the special effects/gore thing?

Okay, fine...let him work in the art dept...but don't call him a filmmaker.

Especially not a good one.

[matthew]

Grizzly Man better be good.