All I know is that to me

[matthew]

This is what happens when you let Sav write laws

"Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," said Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill.

Can someone diagram that cop's sentence and carefully explain to me exactly what it's a felony to possess?

I'm not so clear on that either.

[matthew]

And how was a short story about zombies a threat?

[matthew]

I remember in high school, when the whole Branch Davidian debacle exploded on television, a guy I knew ended up in psych evaluation.

How? Well, his English class had just started a Pen Pal writing campaign with a Waco high school. This guy was a little...uh, different (hyper, 'weird', etc.), and he thought it'd be funny to write in his letter that he heard Waco was a cool place, and they had cults with guns and fire blahblahblah.

The teacher screened his and ended up reporting him

I don't know. He probably did need medication of some sort (you'd have to meet him).

He wrote in my yearbook, "First you break his kneecaps, then you stab him in the eyes..." (?). It was just a list of violent acts with no beginning or end.

I guess I'm glad they never found this comic book I wrote and drew throughout high school that turned out to be nothing but ridiculously violent (intended to be humourous) for hundreds and hundreds of pages. I wrote it while in class to entertain Jer, so it would have probably been easy for me to get "caught".

I don't have any asshole grandparents around to turn me in to the police department.

It always seems like they are on these kids' ass, but do fucking zero to crack down on actually bullies. "Our hands are tied" blahblahblah.

Then some of the goober kids snap and shoot up the school and there's a crack down on artistic/literate/unpopular kids. Why don't they crack down on the fucking aggressive popular kids who make their life hell in the first fucking place.
 

[matthew]

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!

(runs upstairs, slams door)

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

It always seems like they are on these kids' ass, but do fucking zero to crack down on actually bullies.

Then some of the goober kids snap and shoot up the school and there's a crack down on artistic/literate/unpopular kids. Why don't they crack down on the fucking aggressive popular kids who make their life hell in the first fucking place.
 

Because the people running the school now were the "aggressive popular kids" when they were young.

(...except for Moe, who is now being tormented by them all over again.)

I mean, who else would grow up and want to work in a school?  Some sensitive guy who got his ass kicked every day and can't wait to get out?  Or some cheerleader/jock who had the time of his life there?

The dorks go on to teach college if anything.