We all want fried chicken and pizza.

Quote from: Moetown on February 10, 2010, 04:27:35 PM

Who's your favorite Rip?

I've always been partial to Rip Taylor.

Rip Glitter!

Features: 10
Let get one this straight: the Peavey 5150 is made only for rockers who can handle balls-swallowing METAL ACTION (or AXE-shun). So if you wearing some ****ing backwards red baseball cap and thinking you're gonna be the next Korn Against the Bizkit or whatever the **** you listen to, then you might as well just take that $5,000 Les Paul your uncle gave you and throw it under the tires of whatever pussy-ass sport coupe you're driving, because the 5150 doesn't have TIME for your PUSSY-ASS ****!

See, the people at Peavey were smart, because they put like twenty knobs on the 5150. Anyone who knows how to truly rock knows there's only one knobs that matters -- GAIN. That way, when the salesman sees you plugging in the Mexico-made Fender strat or whatever other pussy-ass guitar you pick off the rack, and he sees you start messing with every knob on the board while you insult the 5150 with your blatantly non-metal licks, he can kick your sorry ass OFF the chair and beat you like the REO Speedwagon fan you probably are, because no one who truly understood the 5150 would waste time with knobs when they could be pumping out some killer Sacrificium tunes on a Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V at top volume.

Sound Quality: 10
You know what I use. SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, downtuned to B, with only my DOD FX-59 THRASHMASTER pedal between it and the 5150 (look up the THRASHMASTER for my other reviews). Yesterday, I took my 5150 over to my friend Dino's house, and he opened it up and disconnected every knob except the GAIN one, and then we busted that knob off so it's permanently stuck at 10, because that's the only number I need to know when it comes to pumping out my hot n' tasty licks with my new side project, LETHALICON, when we hit the stage at the Greenbriar Community Center every Thursday. After Dino and I modded my amp, every time i hit a low B, it sounds like the members of Hierarchical Punish are in my basement, beating the members of Civilization Hatred to death with amplified, unbridled metal brutality. This amp is for PURE, SLUTBANGING METAL, so don't even touch it unless you're ready to proclaim your dedication to annihilation!

Reliability: 10
I always say a good amp is like a good woman -- if it lasts through the first couple beatings, it's yours for life. This baby can take all the kicks and still pump out the hottest licks. Once, when I caught my little brother looking at my Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V, I strapped his head to the 5150 and hung him out the window by his ankles. He kept squirmin' and hollerin' until finally I dropped him, but it was okay, because the 5150 was hooked back up in minutes, and none of the blood or snot stopped it from giving me the hot metal injection I demand. Let me put it this way: the 5150 will treat you better than any girlfriend, because it screams louder, it's easier to pick up, and it shuts up when you take your plug out.

Customer Support: 10
You think I have time to talk to corporate non-rockers about this ****? No ****ing way! Any time I got a problem with anything, my amigo Dino sets me up just fine. Sometimes, I'll call the customer service number, and when they pick up the phone, I'll put the receiver down by my amp and crank out "Fool for the City" by Foghat just to show my appreciation. They're never on the phone when I finish, but I'm sure they like to hear how at least SOME of us know how to use their amps for the prep-smacking ROCK they wanna hear.

Overall Rating: 10
I've been playing long enough to know that this amp kicks more ass and gets more chicks than my band's last bass player. Look, if you're still reading this review, then you obviously have some sort of cranial damage. If you do, that means you probably already own a 5150 and a Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V, in which case, KEEP ROCKIN'! Because if you didn't already own one of these, by now you should be at Guitar Center, buying your 5150 head and telling them how they need to hold a Guitar Center 5150-a-thon, because it's the only amp that matters anyway.

Submitted by Rip Glitter at 02/16/2001 10:30

Product: Jackson Rhoads Custom Shop Polka Dot V
Price Paid: US $2000
Submitted 07/25/2001 at 02:21pm by Rip Glitter

Features : 10
All right, shit is just getting out of hand here. People keep e-mailing me wanting to know all about my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V. Like I don't have anything better to do than sit here and write reviews? Fuck that. When I'm not pulling double shifts at Walgreens, I'm spending my time the way any true rocker knows how -- banging HEADS and banging SLUTS, with some quality brew time with my good buddy Dino on the side. Whether it's shredding out with my new band SLUTBANGER, or my side project LETHALICON, I always keep the intense metal mayhem BURNING like the crotch of a Vietnamese whore. You know what I'm talking about.

Anyways, I'm not going to tell you all that technical bullshit that you don't want to hear. All that shit about double-locking tremoloes, humbuckers, strings, and all the stuff that dudes who liked Slayer's "Diabolus In Musica" better than "South of Heaven" probably care about. If you don't own "South of Heaven," then give me call so I can come over and beat you senseless with my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, because you're about as metal as that kid whose ass I stomped at the last Insatanity show because he asked me if i liked the latest GORETICIAN disc. On the other hand, if you didn't know that "South of Heaven" is a Slayer album, then you should probably call your mom or whoever it is that kept your crib too close to the microwave and thanks them for fucking up your BRAIN so much that you're totally ignorant of the most savagely INTENSE metal album since Blizzard of Ozz.

As for my Signature - you bet your ass - SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, it used to be all polka dot and shit, but Dino hooked me up with this wicked artist named Arturo who works down in Romeoville. He did a sweet-ass painting of a wolf pack hunting at night. Even though I had to stop playing with Rabid Wolf after that fuckhead Jimmy actually asked me to turn it DOWN one day at practice, probably because he's what we true metal maniacs like to call "a pussy assed bitch," it's still a killer wicked paint job that I'm gonna match on my Camaro hood once I finish up my neighbor's lawn.

Sound : 10
You want to know what the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V sounds like? Let me introduce you to a little something called UNCAGED METAL DESTRUCTION. When I first got my V, I went down into my basement, plugged it into my EVH 5150 custom half-stack with a 300-foot cord, and then I climbed up into my attic and stood in the window, looking over my neighborhood and wondering if they had any idea that there was about to be a full-frontal metal assault rolling straight through their homes. As I hit that first power G chord, I felt my house rumble as the sonic metal INVASION trampled its way through its walls and loosed itself upon my unsuspecting neighbor, who was stupid enough to come out from his backyard and ask me what was going on. I mean, by now the neighbors know that when I'm standing in that attic window, they should watch where they step because their BALLS are about to be rocked off.

So ANYWAY, there I am, giving my neighbor a good look at what it means to be a true rocker, and just for fun I start practicing some killer Maiden licks when he tries to tell me to turn it down or he'd call the police. Do I look like I have time for his rules?? I'm fucking rocking out, man! I unzipped my pants and told him what he could do with his police.

Anyway, the point is, the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, if you're lucky enough to own one, will grab you by the throat and spit nothing but pure, UNADULTERATED METAL TONE in your face. Why am I telling you this? If you haven't heard this guitar by now, then you obviously have no concept of what true METAL is all about. You've heard what I've said about Mexican Stratocasters? I bet you play one, don't you, you little bitch? That's what I thought. The Randy Rhoads V gives you maximum tonal definition while acting as a massive slut magnet at every show you bring it to. Just keep a rag handy, because chicks get so wet around this baby, they might end up dripping all over the EQ knobs, and that can seriously fuck up your electronics