Place of Pugilism

[Jeff]

Boxers, Photographed Before and After a Fight

http://www.worldpressphoto.org/index.php?option=com_photogallery&task=view&id=1437&Itemid=&type=&selectedIndex=5&bandwidth=high

[Doctor Rock]

Barbarous sport. 

[Jeff]

It is. I still like it, though. SO many sports are just a thinly veiled version of guys beating the crap out of each other, but boxing is just that, straight-up. Professional boxers are quite literally, the toughest guys on earth.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

I'm not sure...These MMA guys could probably take them.

[Jeff]

Those MMA guys are pretty tough. But the thing that is exciting about MMA is the reason why it's more of a sport and less of a physical contest: skill set, knowledge, and strategy often win out. Boxing is more limited in technique, and while it may make it less fun to watch, I do think that's why it's a purer physical contest.

No real way to know though, as any contest between an MMA champ and a boxer would have one guy hopelessly out of his element.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

...as would a street fight.

[Jeff]

Certainly in a street fight, the MMA guys would likely win. The thing is, I think they'd win because of surprises, technique. Is that really being tougher or just training?

I am kind of rambling, trying to find the words, but I guess what I am saying is, in boxing, all things are equal except speed and power. In MMA, there's about a hundred other factors.

I mean, the UFC champion for years was a skinny Brazilian guy who leapt onto people and squeezed their heads until they tapped out. Was he the toughest guy in the world or is that just a brilliantly exploitative technique?

When Mike Tyson beat a guy in the late 80s, you never wondered if it was a parlor trick. He just beat their ass.

There is something I will always find pure and appealing in that type of artless brutality.

[Jeff]

Mike Tyson's meltdown was one of the great disappointments in the history of sports.

He was a fucking golden god.

Two Tyson stories that say all there is to say about his dominance...

Bonecrusher Smith said Tyson was just a puncher, getting lucky with knockouts, and he'd never make it with a guy who could go the full twelve rounds. His fight with Tyson ended up going the full 12, and although there were at least a half dozen instances where Tyson could have floored him, he always drew back, giving Smith time to collect himself. In the end, Tyson won by unanimous decision. When asked why he didn't take any of the chances he had to finish Smith, he looked right into the camera and said, calmly, "He said I couldn't make it twelve rounds, that I didn't have what it took. I wanted to make sure he suffered as long as possible for that mistake."

Then there was the Michael Spinks fight. America gets all hot and bothered about the possibility of a "real contender" who would expose Tyson's weaknesses. Tyson had been knocking out bottom feeders, but now he'd have to fight a real fighter. Tyson gave him his first career knockdown in ten seconds and had KO'd him with 91.

He was a fucking animal. I loved watching him.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

I enjoy boxing, but I don't enjoy MMA.  I find it kind of painful to watch.

[Jeff]

Agreed. The worst are the non-UFC MMA leagues. There's a Russian one called "Affliction" that's big in bars that show sports now. Jonathan and I went to a bar that was showing Mosley's last fight and on adjacent tvs they were showing a PPV event by Affliction. One guy got punched in the throat, collapsed to the floor seizing, and was taken away by ambulance. His frigging wife was there, man. Sheesh.

Boxing is brutal, but something about the regimented nature of the brutality makes it more palatable to me.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

I saw a match where one dude was winning on the score cards, but at the end of the final round his opponent got him in a leg lock.  He proceeded to rip apart every ligament in the guy's knee because the guy wouldn't tap out since he knew he'd win on the score cards if he could just hold on.

Excruciating to watch.

[Jeff]

Watched Vitali Klitschko v. Chris Arreola this weekend. I honestly felt bad for Arreola. He clearly had heart, technique, energy, and strength, but the Klitschko brothers are just monsters. TKO in the tenth, I think it was. Arreola's handlers knew he had no chance at KOing the big guy or winning on points and he was just getting hurt. The guy actually sobbed when they called the fight, his pride was hurt so badly. They showed his wife and kids in the seats, too, and they were devastated.

I think it's going to be a while before anyone else holds one of the three belts they have. And maybe not too long before one of them adds the fourth belt they don't have. Neither of them is really all-time-great level--they don't have a lot of grace, they're kinda just impeccably conditioned. But they stand so far above the rest of the division, it's just sad.

Too bad they refuse to fight each other. THAT would be something to see.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

The Klitschko era is the most depressing in heavyweight history.  Their dominance just shows how far the division has fallen.

And yeah...at least fight each other.  In what other sport do the two top individuals or teams not play each other?  It's a joke.

[Jeff]

I think the Klitschkos are good fighters, very good even. They don't depress me, really. But yeah, I'm painfully aware that neither of them would have made it out of the 6th or 7th round with say, Tyson circa 1987.

The Klitschkos' conditioning is mind-boggling though. Did you know those guys routinely gain weight for fights? Nearly every other heavyweight ever has to trim the fat when a fight comes along, but the Klitschkos keep themselves so fit and trim they actually have to add several thousand calories a day and bulk up for fights. Each reportedly trains every single day, no days off, no holidays, nothing--even Vitali kept this up during the four years he was fighting off injuries.

[Jeff]

Eventually, they may have to fight each other. The IBF, in particular, has a history of stripping titles from champs who refuse to fight top-ranked contenders.

It'd be a good fight. Wladimir has better technique and a superior build, but Vitali is the toughest, most steely man in boxing.