Krappity Kitchen

[Jeff]

I'm going to start saving recipes that get posted here in this isle.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

I was thinking of starting this isle myself...but I was thinking of calling it "THE KIDchen"...remember those days?

[Jeff]

Heh. Sure do.

You should copy your bleu cheese dressing recipe here. And I know Pat and Tripp's lovely wife passed on badass mac n' cheese recipes. Those should go here, too. And has Karen passed on any of her veggie recipes or just teased us with descriptions?

[Jeff]

How about if we go for the classic ("klassic"?) stupid-use-of-a-K method for naming this isle?

[Just Some Girl]

Heh. Sure do.

You should copy your bleu cheese dressing recipe here. And I know Pat and Tripp's lovely wife passed on badass mac n' cheese recipes. Those should go here, too. And has Karen passed on any of her veggie recipes or just teased us with descriptions?

I should actually start using recipes more than I do. I tend to just throw stuff together and keep adding more and more stuff till it tastes like something. (And, sometimes, this precise methodology totally bombs.) I'll see what I can do, though...

[Just Some Girl]

Does this mean we need a stomach-patting smiley? Or a burping one? Or both? OMG, OMG, CAN WE HAVE BOTH?!!

[Jeff]

You find 'em, we can add 'em.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

Bleu Cheese Dressing

1/2 Cup triple cream bleu cheese (rind cut off)
1/2 Cup bleu cheese crumbled (don't buy store bought crumbled, do it yourself ya lazy bum)
1/4 Cup red wine vinegar
1/4 Cup xtra virgin olive oil
1 Cup mayonnaise
1 Cup plain yogurt
1-2 cloves of garlic minced

Melt the triple cream blue cheese in the vinegar.  Add the other ingredients and stir.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

Hummus

2 Cans chick peas (drained)
Juice of 2 Lemons
2 Tablespoons Tahini
1/4 Cup Xtra Virgin Olive Oil
1-2 Cloves Garlic
Salt to taste

Put all the ingredients into a food processor and blend until creamy.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

Peanut Butter Banana Bread

2 Cups Flour
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
1/2 Stick Butter (room temp)
3/4 Cup Brown Sugar
2 Eggs (discard the shells, ya dummy)
3 Mashed Overripe Bananas (don't slip on the peels, knucklehead)
2 Cups Peanut Butter (if you use unsalted PB, add 1/4 teaspoon Salt)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Pregrease a bread pan.

In a bowl mix butter, brown sugar, eggs, bananas, and peanut butter (I do all this in a food processor, but you don't need one.)  Add flour and baking soda and beat.

Pour mixture into cake pan and bake 45-60 minutes.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

Bean Dip and Fresh Tortilla Chips

1 Can Refried Beans
1 Block Monterey Jack Cheese
2 Tomatillos
1/2 Cup Green Salsa (more if you like it spicy)

Corn Tortillas (cut into 6 wedges per tortilla)
Corn Oil

Fry the tortillas in corn oil until tan and crispy, remove, dab with paper towel, and salt to taste.

Put the other ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth.  Warm the dip on the stove until cheese melts.

Actually you should make the chips last so they're hot.

[Jeff]

Saw this online and wanted to save it, so I thought I'd post it here.

The Chocolate Chip Cookie Bowl

Put 8 ounces of butter, 4 ounces each of brown sugar and white sugar, an egg and a teaspoon of vanilla extract into the bowl of a standing mixer.  Beat using the paddle attachment until all ingredients are incorporated.

Remove the bowl from the stand, put it on a scale and pour in 8 ounces of flour (about a cup and a half), 1/2 teaspoon salt and a teaspoon of baking powder.  Return the bowl to the machine and paddle until the dough is formed.  Add at least a cup of chocolate chips or roughly chopped chocolate and mix until the chocolate is evenly distributed.

This dough will make about two dozen delicious chocolate chip cookies, but if you want to make bowls, you'll need two oven-proof dishes, one that fits inside another, for each chocolate chip cookie bowl (see the Twitpic link above).  Spray the inside of the larger one and the outside of the smaller one with vegetable oil (or butter them).  Press about 1/3 of a cup of the dough into each large bowl.  Press the smaller bowl on top of the dough firmly so that the dough begins to push up around its sides (expansion will take care of the rest).

Bake in a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes. Remove the bowls from the oven and carefully twist the small bowls to free them from the dough (I used sturdy tongs), then remove it, and continue to bake the cookie bowls for 5 minutes of so until the inner bottom of the cookie bowl finishes cooking.

When the bowls are cool enough to handle, cut off any dough that's over flowed the edge and, very carefully, run a pairing knife along the sides, gently lifting up to delicately free the bottom of the cookie bowl.  Chill completely.

Fill with ice cream and serve to anyone who adores cookies and ice cream.

[bebopbalogna]

pat's mac and cheeese..


ingredients

macaroni (i prefer barilla brand.  cellentani or elbows are fine)
1 stick butter (preferably unsalted)
sifted all-purpose flour
2 peeled garlic cloves
your favorite seasoning blend (tony chachere's, cavender's, ms. dash, whatever.  i use chef carlos' (my buddy that passed away a couple month's ago-) but it was only available in local markets and has since been bought up.  sorry y'all.  improvise.
mccormick seasoned pepper
kosher salt
heavy cream
sharp cheddar cheese
smoked gouda cheese
fontina cheeese (hard to find in most supermarkets...sub a combo of havarti and gruyere.  farmer's cheese is a decent sub also.)
gorgonzola cheese
parmesan cheese
panko bread crumbs
your favorite sausage (i usually use chorizo or andouille. thompson's country sausage is fine, or just whatever you like.  spicy, mild...your call)


step one...the roux.

get a good sized sauce pan nice and hot. reduce heat to med-low.  add about 2 Tbsp. butter.  as it melts, put an even amount of flour in and whisk it. once it thickens, add a little more butter, then a little more flour, whisk.   repeat over and over until roux is a good tan color and all the butter is used up.  finely chop garlic cloves and add to roux. add just enough heavy cream to be able to stir roux.  let thicken.


step two....the bechamel/mornay

continue adding heavy cream a little bit at a time, allowing to thicken.  add about a tablespoon each of mccormick seasoned pepper, your favorite seasoning salt, and kosher salt during this process.  use up an entire quart of heavy cream.  when bechamel is ALMOST as thick as you want it (consistency of say...pancake batter)  add cheddar, gouda, and fontina cheeses.  stir and taste.  keep adding a bit more of each cheese until desired cheesiness is achieved.  reduce heat to low and stir constantly until macaroni is cooked.


step three....the macaroni

boil (1 box) pasta as directed on box.  drain.  put in casserole dish.  pour in cheesy bechamel (mornay) sauce. stir.  you may not have to use it all.  if you have any extra, save it. it tastes good on almost anything.  dip your cock in it.  let the dog lick it off.

step four....the topping.

chop up sausage into small pieces.  heat in skillet for about 5-10 minutes.  set aside.  spread about a cup  of shredded cheddar over top of macaroni.  then add about 1/3 cup shaved parmesan (romano/asiago/pecorino/or similar) over top.    cover with a thin layer of panko bread crumbs. then crumble gorgonzola over top. then scatter with cooked sausage. 

step five...the wait

cover casserole dish with aluminum foil.  bake at 375 degrees for 25-30 minutes.  remove foil.  bake an additional 10-20 minutes or desired brownness/meltiness.



mmmmmm...mmmmmmm    good.


side note:  everytime i make this stuff, it's a little bit different than before.  i think the key is starting with a good, thick roux, and having a tasty bechamel/mornay.  this is why tasting as you add the cheeses is so important. 

[Jeff]

I tried this recipe after you posted a variant of it in the main room a while back. We went a little Hungarian on it, subbing Csabai sausage and adding a bunch of paprika and pickled peppers. But man, you are right on about that bechamel. And we aped everything else about your recipe to the T.

You are a mac n' cheese GOD, sir. I tip my hat.

[Doctor Rock]

"Dip your cock in it, let the dog lick it off"