Wave Surgin'

[matthew]

So, after being awoken by one of the loudest and most dramatic thunder and lighting storms I waved my mother off as she departed for the surgeon's knife. As nervous as she is her stomach   upsets are increasingly debilitating and worrisome. Still, I don't think anyone hopes to find themselves in surgery.

[matthew]

Now I have to test my luck with the bus system...and hope to get to work on time...

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

You ride a street wave.

[Bizarro]

for Matthew's mom.

[Bizarro]

The most viewed, top rated, and most commented-on submission of over 1,000 themes entered thus far for the CBC's Hockey Night in Canada Anthem Challenge, as animated by one of its many "fans."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/VbZMnF1VNlE" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/VbZMnF1VNlE</a>

Described by Aube as "a beautiful theme encompassing the heart of hockey," it is absolutely and irrefutably atrocious, a million times worse than the iconic Hockey Night in Canada theme that the CBC embarrassingly lost to CTV.

And that's sort of the point. Aube created "Hockey Scores" as a joke, then posted a thread in the Something Awful forums last Thursday, asking for the goons there to help make it popular. (There, he more honestly described the song as "mostly comprised of cat and sheep sounds, baby cries, and gunshots/explosions.") A week later, with a spectacular animation on YouTube and an advocacy group on Facebook to further the cause, "Hockey Scores" is dominating the competition: almost every other theme uploaded can't get a rating higher than two out of five, and commenters on Aube's theme—those not in on the joke—are understandably confused, distressed, and furious.

http://torontoist.com/2008/07/logan_aubes_hockey_night_theme.php

[Bizarro]

Remember this from way back when?

Here's the full text sent to me to forward to my boss (a sex columnist). I think we're actually running this next week. Oh happy HAPPY birthday! Hey, wait... who said anything about turds?

 
------

Hi guys, I'm hereby sending you some hot things - 3 real cake farting pictures done by women. Here's a story submission as well:

Ever since the beginning of my puberty I had a thing for female cake farting. The superb vision for me is to watch Pamela Anderson and  Jenna Jameson at a lounge with a birthday cake on the floor. Jenna and Pamela hike down their pants, turn their bare butts at the cake
from approximately 2 inches each one from different side, then simultaneously "beat the drum" on the cake, trying to blow the  candles, as if attempting to compete each against the other when it comes to smell,
rancidity, loudness and how long the fart lasts. And they release their intestinal methane gas until the room is increasingly rendered unbearable to stay in.

Jenna's rancid fart catches fire,as she grins saying :"I've always  been into burning farts ". Pamela'sanswer was an 11 seconds long rip that  blew the
candles. Then the cake was evacuated, but not be4 frustrated Jenna  Jameson stooled a 1 feet turd on it.

Proving once again that Rule 34 is alive and well,  somebody done made a site for that. I'm putting the link behind a spoiler tag to emphasize that I am NOT suggesting you go there, only pointing out its existence.

[spoiler]the spectacularly NSFW CakeFarts.com.[/spoiler]

It is just what it says it is. And while it doesn't approach the 2 Girls 1 Cup level of depravity, it certainly is intended for a similar audience.

You been warned.

[Tripp]

huhn...   usually I get a boner looking at naked girls..

[Tripp]

DC JAMS Records  who is re-issuing the early TRUSTY records has shown interest in signing Dragoon.!?  Main dude is flying into mempho this weekend to see our show and shmooze us.  he said he could get us on the Vans Warped tour..

I don't want to make the audience scream "WHO LET MY DAD'S BAND PLAY!! GET OUT OF HERE DAD!"

[Bizarro]

he said he could get us on the Vans Warped tour..

Do you have enough baggy shorts for a tour like that?

[Tripp]

see, I didn't even know baggy shorts were part of it.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

DC JAMS Records  who is re-issuing the early TRUSTY records has shown interest in signing Dragoon.!?  Main dude is flying into mempho this weekend to see our show and shmooze us.  he said he could get us on the Vans Warped tour..

Cool cool cool and cool.

I don't want to make the audience scream "WHO LET MY DAD'S BAND PLAY!! GET OUT OF HERE DAD!"

Nah.  I think there's maybe just something wrong with Memphis kids.

I know there are youth today who still want to rock.

[Bizarro]

As long as you're loud, the Warped kids will love you. Those are kids who still worship punk bands from 25 years ago. They're not going to blink because you're not 21.

[Tripp]

well, if you'll excuse me I need to go to Hot Topix  and get my punk attire.

[Bizarro]

Don't forget your wallet chain!

[Moetown]

DC JAMS Records  who is re-issuing the early TRUSTY records has shown interest in signing Dragoon.!?  Main dude is flying into mempho this weekend to see our show and shmooze us.  he said he could get us on the Vans Warped tour..

I don't want to make the audience scream "WHO LET MY DAD'S BAND PLAY!! GET OUT OF HERE DAD!"

I didn't even know you had kids.