smashes head on keyboard

[regular tom]

and now i'm getting punchlines without the set ups!


"Reenacted B. Stumpier" passed this along:

A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.

[matthew]

If these are genuine, you get much more interesting spam than I.

[Doctor Rock]

Yeah!  They usually just ask me how I feel about the size of my manhood, or that hot young women want to fuck me.  I occasionally get the nigerian with bank problems.  Nothing as fun as your stuff, Books.

[Doctor Rock]

well, we have some leftover cake if anybody wants some.  the frosting is nearly all butter.


and if anyone wants to play Pin the Fire on the Dragon, it's still set up in the living room.

For my little girl's last birthday, I made two cakes: one was a really good (and somewhat hard to prepare) cheesecake, and the other one was a cheap, pre-mixed commercial chocolate cake covered in multicoloured frosting, the kind where you just add water and bake.  Guess which one was the kid's favourite?

[matthew]

The cheesecake.

[Sabamah]

damn, i think i have to make funfetti cupcakes tonight now.

PARTY IN EVERY BITE, Y'ALL!!!

[Sabamah]

...and quit looking at my breasts, dan. for the 14th time.

[matthew]

and her cupcakes.

[Doctor Rock]

The cheesecake.

Yeah right.  I wish!

[Doctor Rock]

...and quit looking at my breasts, dan. for the 14th time.

I am not looking at your breasts, woman!  I'm reading what's on your t-shirt!

I'm a slow reader.

[brainfiber]

I got a 700 word article on san francisco to write by tommorow. So far i've got this:

"You can leave your heart in San Francisco and still come home with cash in your wallet" -- and then i'll go into how to go aboot seeing things on the cheap.

Or

"If you're looking for gay sex visit.."

[brainfiber]

but really...for some reason this article is killing me...usually i can just bang these things out..but i realize i know nothing about san fran..the layout...the neighborhoods.

i gotta crank myself up on some coffee and get busy. I've been listening some propellerheads (this has been in my cd collection for the past 4 years...one of the freebies from old job...and i figure some...what would you call it...techno? dance?...would vibrate some words from my brain)

well off to the races...

[Doctor Rock]

Why ideas no longer matter

Modern politicians deal only in facts, not philosophical reasoning



And that's why they tend to be lying sacks of putrid shit who can't see any further than the next election.

[Bizarro]

Today was a good day: I paid rent, downloaded the new Sufjan Stevens record, bought new pants 8 inches smaller in the waist than the last new pair I bought, I kissed a pretty girl, and I had some pizza.

Also, I won $2 in the lottery.

[Doctor Rock]

Lucky you... I'm jealous, 'cause today was rather a bad day.  My thesis writting went nowhere, one of my stupid cats is sick and it's a bitch to make her swallow the fucking antibiotics, I discovered that the fuckers I've been playing with scheduled a practice for saturday afternoon, the same day and time as my girlfriends's birthday party (which sounds like a not so subtle way of telling me they don't want my noisy ass in their band anymore since they rather sound like the wimpy gutless soft-rockers that at heart they wanna be), and I got myself into a stupid argument with my gilrfriend, with her insisting that I should go to practice and me telling her that I had told them not to do it on saturday, so screw it, I ain't going.