Savannah did a very scientific "test" on me in the van on the way from Florida to Memphis in which it was predicted Matt and I get married. I can't remember all the deets, but obviously we'll be a force to be reckoned with. But I do recall that she and Kurt are "destined" to get married, have 20 kids, live in a shack...and Kurt works in "mortgage." That shit still cracks me up.
Better luck next time C________ and B_____.
Goddamnit, see, this is why I wanted to go - the laughs. I wouldn't have been able to party and I don't know what I would have eaten or done except sit in the corner and act like a nervous laugh track.
But I live for laughter.
(trying to ignore results of very scientific test for the moment)
Speaking of laughter, I get a real kick out of observing this seventeen year old at work named C edric. He got hired a few days before I did and he serves as a perfect specimen of "dorky 17 year old male at his first job". He is one of those guys whose genes intended for him to be a nerd, but he fights it with desperate ambition and comes off like an even bigger dweeb. He is one of these French kids who has the permanent caterpillar fuzz moustache thing (and probably had it since he was seven years old) and spikes his conversation with hip hop slang and what I assume he believes resembles a more mature, been there, done that persona. He is constantly looking for attention and speaks out loud and yells at the radio in that painfully self-conscious way... I remember the other kids like that when I was 17 and it was one of the reasons I tried to keep quiet - I did not want to come off like that - like I was fooling myself into thinking I was cool.
Now, "cool" is meaningless in this context, but he is still going to high school during the week - his mind is still sitting in that brine. Anyway, he behaves how you would expect a 17yrold goob to behave around the young women: as subtle as strobe light. He acts up and curses at things in hopes of getting attention - he was whistling to the radio non-stop for like 20 minutes, and though it would be out of character, I came close to telling him to stop. Oh, and sometimes he even talks to me like he has seniority over me (like three days), and I do believe he is unaware that I worked more hours this week than he has in the last two months.
Anywho, the reason he was whistling was this beautiful 28 year old naturopath who just started working there was in the back room with us. Because he was in the midst of stocking shelves he had to keep leaving the back room for the store. I, however, was putting away things a shelf over from where she was doing tea inventory. We smiled at each other a few times and I have to admit I was sorta motivated by C____'s behaviour, I was kind of curious if it would effect his buzzing around. Eventually the whistling became a focus point for his anxiety and it went right over the top. The radio announcer cut into the intro of a song and suddenly C____ pretty much screamed, "AH, YOU KILLED IT!!!" at the radio, startling the two of us facing the other way. C____ left the back room again whistling and I began to chat with this new woman. I had actually forgotten about C____ by the time he returned and saw us laughing and I suddenly felt bad for some reason. His whistling became more intense and he scurried around hurriedly trying to throw the overstock back on thee shelf.
All of a sudden I hear C____ announce "Ladder time!" from behind me and he rushes with the ladder over to near the girl and begins to climb up between her and I. I want to laugh. He dashes up the ladder as if he expects her to be impressed by his manly ladder-climbing ability - the entire spectacle is absurd and I can't help thinking - she has to know he is trying to get her attention. He is so enthusiastic I half expect him to fall on top of her. I try and get back to my work and then suddenly C_____ manages to empty a torrent of paper towel rolls on the girl, each bouncing off her head individually like in a cartoon. Just as this happens her section manager has walked in the back and they help pick up the paper towel rolls. All of a sudden I am caught with a fit of the giggles and after fighting it for a minute or two I realize I cannot stop and walk away from the scene and outside into the alley behind. I attempt to return inside three times before finally managing a half straight face. I don't know why it struck me so funny, but it did.
Later, once C____ was gone, I had a good conversation with the pretty lady.
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