MST3K UberGuber

[matthew]

Well, like Sav, I'm way too attached to a dead television show. That show is Mystery Science Theatre 3000. You probably all know the show better than I (you people being American and all) but, for any possible uninitiated: The basic premise of said show is a janitor/temp trapped in space being tortured with crappy films that mad scientists (on earth) send him. He survives the mental anguish by "heckling" or "riffing on" the flicks with robots he built (or the guy before him built).

Anyway...the film featured in one episode was filmed near my house...er...a scene...the BIG scene (well...you know, in realative compar...aw fuck it). Look, I live in nowhereland...Pointe-Claire, a mere suburb of Montreal (20+KM from the city): I can think of ONE family of blacks in all of PC. Seriously. Really, I cannot see what would bring film industry folk out here.

The film was ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE, a mid 80's crapfest 'starring' Jon Mikl Thor, Adam West and...well, no one really 'stars' in this shitball...but Tia Carrere made her cinematic debut here in the West Island.

er...

yeah, so Thor gets slammed by car (with Tia in it) in front of a convenience store that he just shut down an armed robbery in (on his way home from a softball game like 25 KM away in Ste Anne De Bellevue (he's on foot)); he later becomes a zombie because of this hit and run but, what's of note is that this depanneur is a block from my house and is where I make most of my weekly purchases.

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[matthew]

the store changed a little...but man, I was like 7 when this film was filmed around the corner...I used to play little league soccer in the field behind this place...

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[matthew]

this is where Thor's body ends up

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[Sabamah]

what a thorough photographic journey, matthew.

[matthew]

I knew that part of the film was filmed in Ste. Annes because of the IMDb (the film thanks the city if Ste Anne De Bellevue in the closing credits), but I wasn't aware that some was filmed out here at my favorite store. When I was watching this scene I kept thinking to myself that it looked a hell of a lot like Laviolette's...it was the garage next door that gave it away

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[matthew]

just you wait, Savannah

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[matthew]

my sister actually took these pictures...

this is the intersection from Tia's point of view...which is never seen the film.


Hmm, well you can see the Valois Bay underpass (on the left) and the Valois train station beyond which lies the 2-20 highway which leads into the Montreal...past that and the uglyass apt. complex is the St. Lawrence River.

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[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

I
Among twenty snowy sidewalks,
The only moving thing
Was the eye of the Gosse.

II
I was of three minds,
Like a depanneur
In which there are three aisles.

III
The Gosse whirled in the Slim Jim display.
It was a small part of the snack aisle.

IV
A man and a woman
Are one.
A man and a woman and a Gosse
Are a line at the depanneur.

V
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of Muzak
Or the beauty of the tabloid racks,
The Gosse whistling the Muzak
Or just after he reproaches himself for doing so.

VI
Wanted posters filled the long window
With barbaric bars.
The shadows of the Gosse
Crossed it, to and fro.
The mood
Traced in his shadow
An indecipherable cause.

VII
O thin men of Canada,
Why do you imagine golden pretzels?
Do you not see how the Gosse
Walks around the feet
Of the women about you?

VIII
I know French accents
And lurid, incomprehensible rhythms;
But I know, too,
That the Gosse is involved
In what I know.

IX
When the Gosse flew out of sight,
He marked the edge
Of one of many pornographic magazines.

X
At the sight of Gosse
Flying in a red light,
Even the whores of cacophony
Would cry out sharply.

XI
He rode over Canada
In an electric car.
Once, a Prince Albert pierced him,
In that he mistook
The shadow of his package
For Gosse.

XII
The fountain drink line is moving.
The Gosse must be flying.

XIII
It was evening all afternoon.
It was snowing
And it was going to snow.
The Gosse sat
In the Hostess snack cakes.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

I feel naked now like I did that one night at the poetry reading.

I had mumbled what I thought was a perfectly beautiful poem and it fell on deaf ears then too...

[Sabamah]

I feel naked now like I did that one night at the poetry reading.

(sound of record screeching)

waitwaitwait- you participated in a poetry reading?

(mouths "big fag" to everyone in room)

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

I can read some more now to you if you like?

[matthew]

I like your poem, it's really big...no no, it really is the biggest I've seen.

[Poop Fresh-Herbed Pickles]

poetry reading?

(mouths "big fag" to everyone in room)

your poem, it's really big.

See, Sav.  My poetry is quite manly, thank you.