Forward March!

[brainfiber]

March 4th always reminds me of a story my aunt told me.

she went to catholic school and I guess one march 4th the nuns had them lined up outside school and one of my aunt's friend's was in the front of the line and she's like "Sister, what's today's date?" and the sister says "March 4th"...so the girls all start marching forward...and the sister yells at them and then the girl goes "Sister, what's today's date?" ...and so on and so on.

[regular tom]

i think that you should pitch that story to hollywood as the entire plot for Sister Act 3.

nonstop absurdist hilarity!


i know a serious-minded undergrad who organized a political rally/march for today to protest W. and the war and whatever else they've got for the same semantic energy your aunt's friend was harnessing in her catholic school days.  

will the comedy never cease?

[Tripp]

Today let's just talk about bunnies and cotton candy.

[regular tom]

speaking of absurdist hilarity, in reviewing my morning spam i noticed a message from "Encouragements T. Nazis" offering me a medication source that begins with the following proclamation:

Buenos noches!
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.

[regular tom]

and the next one in my inbox is from "Aureoled H. Beginner" offering me the same damn medication source, but a new opening line:

Good morning, campers
When you write down your life, every page should contain something no one has ever heard about.

[brainfiber]

my wife loves the cotton candy. So i bought her a cotton candy machine for christmas...it makes these spider web looking things...not like County fair cotton candy.

My wife also loves bunnies. One time at her mom's house she saw her cat stalking a bunny in the yard. She ran out and started yelling "run bunny run...be free". If that wasn't a funny enough site...the bunny then spazzed out and ran right into the road where you heard "thump thud"....no more bunny.

[brainfiber]

today we have to go to some sort of training at this hotel. the managers and execs are all there now...the proleteriat go after lunch.

I think after 4 years they are finally giving us an employee handbook...rules and such.

everybody is already planning on hopefully getting out early and heading to the hotel's bar.

[persfave]

march 4th used to be Presidential Inauguration day...

[Tripp]

Which bar? Maybe I'll run into you guys.

[persfave]

but I can't imagine a nun shouting "FRANKLIN PIIIIEERCE! WHAT DAY IS IT?!"

maybe I can.

[flecton big sky]

Today let's just talk about bunnies and cotton candy.

One day Simon was strolling through the city when he suddenly realized he must've been daydreaming as he did not recognize this part of the city.  Stopping on street corner to reassess his goegraphical situation he was approached by a rather shady looking gentleman. Now this gentleman was carrying a box under his arm. But it wasn't a cardboard box but more like those old phonographs they used in schools. You know the kind librarians have dreams about.

The man asked Simon if he enjoyed nature.
Yes replied Simon.

The man asked Simon if he enjoyed sweets.
Yes replied Simon.

Have i got just the device for you, the man continued, it's a one of a kind machine that will bring you closer to nature in ways you never imagined.

Simon was very anxious about this contraption and asked the man if he could demonstrate.

Not a problem, not a problem said the man and he lead Simon across the street and instructed him to follow closely as they headed into the forest at the end of the park.

Wait here behind this tree and Simon did as he was told. He then watched as the man lay a rabbit snare near some wildflowers and then they both waited.

The snare jerked and they had indeed captured a bunny rabbit.

Are you ready? the man asked Simon.
Indeed I am Mister. What's going to happen now.

Watch closely and with those words the man opened the top of his magic box, inserted the bunny rabbit and closed the lid.

Would you do the honors Simon, the man said pointing to the "on" button.

Simon pushed the button and the machine coughed and sputtered madly. Simon and the man both jumped back when the machine burped a single whisp of smoke.

The man lifted the cover and Simon noticed the bunny was no longer there. Instead there was a perfect pile of cotton candy. Simon was amazed and asked the man if he could have some.

The man laughed. He explained that with this machine Simon could have cotton candy as long as there were bunnies to be snared. Simon smiled and pulled a piece of candy from the box and said:

I bet we could make a fortune if we called it Hoppin' Candy.

m.jette 2004-03-04

[flecton big sky]

got to run to a meeting but something about bunnies and cotton candy got my mind racing ... my boss thought i was working on a memo.

suckas.

flecton 1
the Man 0

back soon ...

[regular tom]

so that's where cotton candy comes from!


thanks, flecton.

[Sabamah]

and the next one in my inbox is from "Aureoled H. Beginner" offering me the same damn medication source, but a new opening line:

Good morning, campers
When you write down your life, every page should contain something no one has ever heard about.

why do you get all the good spam, caw? that line about marriage from the other spam message was amazing.

[brainfiber]

You can't catch me 'cause the rabbit gone died