it's a gnu day.....

[bebopbalogna]

how are y'all?

[matthew]

Trying to enjoy my space.

[bebopbalogna]

catchin up on the weekend action...

Did you get those Bailter Space records?

naw.  not yet.  i was supposed to get them last monday, but i didn't feel like going to the handlebar (where don works on mondays) last week for fear that i would end up drinking too much. (had an 8:00 meeting tuesday)  i will probably make it up there tonight.  hopefully he remembers to bring them..

[matthew]

Trying to organize all of my photo albums and what not and it is proving to be a curious emotional exercise.

[bebopbalogna]

Trying to enjoy my space.

still waiting to hear of moetown's revelation, myself...

[matthew]

The "whatnot" being the random stuff that goes along with the photo albums.

Like headlines concerning "Jilted lover arrested in park"

To be 21 again.

[bebopbalogna]

photos are indeed strange little capsules of unrealized emotional baggage.
careful with those.    

[matthew]

I am quoted in my pre-school newsletter in Spring 1983 (age five):

"After 'Pete's Dragon'; I don't think I'll ever be happy again".
(Matthew Gosse)

That is my earliest memento from school.

 

[Moetown]

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I really love internet art.

[matthew]

I was right.

It is interesting how early patterns emerge in life. By Kindergarten there was nothing remarkable about my report card except that I was "distracted" and "distracting to others" and had difficulty listening to and following directions (this is repeated by every teacher from K to University is some way, shape or form). Though my teachers seemed to enjoy me early on ("I hope he keeps his great sense of humor and infectious laugh!"), all of the comments that have to do with my behaviour seem somewhat acidic.

My gym teacher hated me from day one. All I wanted to do in my regular classes was to screw around and play, I clearly had no concept whatsoever of "class" when it came to phys ed.  To me, that was play time.

This only became worse as I started gaining weight by grade three. By grade four I was definitely resigned to the status of "the fat kid", which likely served as the impetus for me to exploit my passion for reading, writing and art.

They were merely interests that I had no remarkable talents in, but I knew I was neither going to be the class star (as I was too self-conscious to talk in class, unless it was to other kids in class) nor an athlete, so it was the quiet, anti-social arts for me.

[matthew]

I should burn all of this shit...everything about me makes me depressed.

[matthew]

I have done this too many times already, but I wonder what effect destroying all of my records would have on me as a person. Even less than losing the weight, I expect.

[Moetown]

Trying to enjoy my space.

still waiting to hear of moetown's revelation, myself...

The ghost of Serge Gainsbourg became one of my friends.
No, it just sort of became fun to mess around with it. It's fun to look for random people like Tommy Chong or Asia Argento, find a song or a video to put up, edit your page, stumble upon old pals. I just sorta started gettin' it.

I should get a little camera so I can post more pics. I hate the one that's there now.  

[bebopbalogna]

I think everyone in memphis hates me.

Is that a common neurosis for people my age who smoke too much shrimp?

I really think people think I broke up the grifters and they hate me. Or else they hate me cause i won't reunite. Plus I have a pretty horrendous reputation as far as all the dating choices i made in my twenties/early thirties. memphis is such a close knit scene everybody knows everything about everybody.

definately a common neurosis.  i wouldn't blame it (the paranoid circular thinking that invoves reading other people's minds) on the thc completely though.  it may compound it a little, but so would a bad night's sleep.  or even lingering effects of lots of psychedelics in the brain years ago.   the dating choices you made 10-20+ years ago should not have any effect on your current reputation.  especially since you are now happily married.  if anybody (other than yourself, or said 'dates') still gives a second's thought to your ancient dating history, they are the crazy ones, not you.  so fuck em.  and as you have mentioned before, bands are like marriages.  some of em work out, some don't.  i think most people understand that. i doubt most folks have given it as much thought as you have.  certainly there is some disappointment, but i doubt people are secretly pointing fingers or whatever.  take the beatles. people want to "blame" yoko,  apple records (the beatles becoming corporate),  paul's unannounced first solo record, etc etc .  truthfully, they just couldn't stand working together anymore.  it's that simple.  no need for blame, or even taking sides.  again, if people are giving you shit, fuck em.  they can start their own band and see if it lasts forever.  


basically, i think you may be overanalyzing it.  don't beat yourself up about it.

[bebopbalogna]

Trying to enjoy my space.

still waiting to hear of moetown's revelation, myself...

The ghost of Serge Gainsbourg became one of my friends.
No, it just sort of became fun to mess around with it. It's fun to look for random people like Tommy Chong or Asia Argento, find a song or a video to put up, edit your page, stumble upon old pals. I just sorta started gettin' it.

I should get a little camera so I can post more pics. I hate the one that's there now.  

yay!