Oh yeah, my pain story!
Yes, Kurtis' recounting of his burn story and the multiple returns to the burn ward reminded me of another tale. No doubt told before here in some form, but considering how drunk y'all are half the time (and I most likely was at the time of earlier tellings), it might at least seem "new"
Some time in the summer of '93 (I believe...it may have been earlier, but I remember it being noticed in grade 9 math class by one of my regular emotional bullies), I went to get a haircut from Cosmo (the local Italian barber...still works at the mall near here), and when I returned home my mother noticed a small patch of hair missing near the lower part of the occiput (more or less where the spine meets the skull). She freaked out and dragged me back to the barber's and chewed him out and he said that he had not shaved that bit out of my hair. On further inspection, now at home again, I realized that it was smooth (not buzzed short) as if bald. It was a small spot, but I was horrified. I had gained back the weight I had lost in grade 6 and put on even more and was the target of every sadistic shit in the school (I even managed to score female tormentors from grades below - that's a story I never recounted here...probably because I often forget about it) and following the horrors of grade seven I tried desperately to fade into the background and not be noticed by anyone (so I tried to mimic the styles of the popular wealthy Jewish boys (who comprised the majority of my tormentors. The other kids who picked on me were black kids and there was no way I was going to get away with those clothes) in my school...same kind of haircut, cheap clothes that at least looked
similar, etc. None of this changed how fat I was, nor how unpopular and uncool I was. This mystery bald spot was an absolute nightmare and I did everything in my power to avoid going into school until it grew back...but I could only get away with so many absences and I had to try and cover it best I could. It soon became clear that there was no growth whatsoever in that patch. I waited and allowed for my hair to grow over it. Soon the patch grew from the size of a dime to a quarter...and then even larger and the shape spread from the circular shape it first appeared as. Other patches began to appear. We went to see my GP and he sent me to a dermatologist at a Montreal Hospital (I honestly cannot remember which) where it was confirmed that I was suffering from
Alopecia Areata. I still remember going in that first time and the dermatologist yanking at the edges of bald patches and him nodding as he placed tufts of hair in a small steel dish on the table beside the examination table. He concluded that I would have to commence treatment immediately. The treatment was injections of...what, I do not know. And so began my weekly visits to the hospital. I would go into the room and climb up on the table and lie face down. Before he began I was poked and prodded and observed by a team of medical students (each week it was the same students), they would then leave (sometimes observing from the window) as he shot burning hellfire into my skull. I cannot describe the pain well enough, but it
burned, burned almost as badly as those rushes of pain from the second degree burns from the soup. I would grit my teeth, squirm and hyperventilate sometimes. There were usually two dozen shots all over my head, as my head of hair (once incredibly thick) was thinning rapidly as the condition worsened and spread, and each injection sent me reeling. The worst were the ones in shallow skin, where there were mere millimeters of skin resting on my skull - that was pure agony - it was as if the nerves across my scalp were catching on fire and spreading to my face where I squeezed my eyelids so tight I thought my eyeballs would burst. Tears poured from my eyes, but I wasn't really crying. The doctor would stop after a couple and ask me if I wanted a break...I would not look at him, but I would stop panting long enough to tell him to just continue and get it over with. Dear god, I dreaded those Fridays. I went for so long that I eventually only braced myself and stared ahead, knowing my body was experiencing pain, but trying to imagine it was not. The doctor caught on and eventually stopped asking to take breaks and rushed through them as quickly as possible. We eventually gave up, as there was no reaction whatsoever, only as massive amount of pain. The patches moved and some vanished and new ones appeared and my hair has remained thin and brittle ever since. Compared to many alopecia areata sufferers, I could (should?) consider myself "lucky" as I have yet to experience (knock on wood) patches that are visible at a glance (or gone entirely bald). Still, those who picked on me noticed and started asking me if I was going bald or if I had cancer. One of these guys plagued me right through to grade eleven. Fuck. Dan Aron. What a sadistic shit. He was the one who used to turn to me in French class and ask, "Hey Gosse...why are you so fat?" (grade eleven - we were going on eighteen for crying out loud). This was his question du jour and he did it to entertain the other fuckers that sat around me (assigned seating). I spent most of that year sheepishly replying in shame, "I don't know"...finally I cracked and fired back with, "I don't know, why are you so ugly?" - which was true: he was an ugly son of a bitch and he knew it. He may have been one of the wealthiest of the popular Jew Crew (their nickname for their elitist clique, not mine), but he was also the ugliest and no amount of gold watches and chains and hair gel would change that. And it struck...he didn't reply and turned and faced the front of the class and didn't ask me that question ever again.
Still, I bet you that fucker forgot my name and is happier than I am. He probably married and has a career and kids and the whole nine yards and when he dies they will write an obituary as a loving, kind and gentle soul.
As much as I love the rain, I still dread it somewhat because when my hair is wet it tends to reveal the patches. Which you might be able to see in the pics below:
Author
